Forgiveness Workbook

1) Recognize wrong deeds to be wrong deeds

Specify for his/her Behaviour:

Write specific actions that you need to forgive. This list should consist of behaviors, not personality traits. The focus of our forgiveness should be what other people did (verbs), not who they are (nouns and adjectives]. We should not try to forgive someone for being obnoxious, selfish, or evil. Personality does not need forgiving; behaviors do.

List Behaviour here

• -----
• -----
• -----
• -----
• -----

The Damage

Identify the Impact of that behaviour on you; the Loss and the damage to you, your feelings

• -----
• -----
• -----
• -----
• -----

2) Recognize that your anger is not only normal, but necessary

• There was no excuse for this behaviour or conduct

• I have the right to be hurt and upset

• I have the right to seek retribution

• I am truly disappointed from this behaviour

• My hurt and pain is real, I have the right to be angry and furious

Grieve and Mourn

• I have every right to be angery, Actually Anger is the correct response to this, I need to grieve over this LOSS.

• I have expressed this anger to my Heavenly Father through prayers, and discussed it with few friends

3) However, Realize how ongoing bitterness will ultimately hurt you

(Warning: If I am not able to complete the above steps, I am not ready yet to forgive)

• I am commanded by God to forgive

• Forgiveness is for my own benefits

I understand that

• I could have done similar things

• I recognize my own need for forgiveness, will help to come to terms with others' wrong deeds

• God has forgiven me for all my Sins

• I recognize that we are all living in a fallen world and _____ is a victim himself

• I will choose forgiveness because it is part of my life's mission

It does not mean that

• I will forget the hurt and what happened

• The relationship will go back the way it was, that may or may not happen

• I would allow him/her to do this again

4) The Decision

I have a choice to continue on hurting and continue to be angry, but I have decided to forgive, it is my choice, even though I may not feel like it, but I must do it.

This means:

1. I Refuse to be in the inferior position and resist the desire to be superior
2. I must avoid the futility of judgments, letting God be the ultimate judge
3. I should release the pain to God
4. I should release the _____ to God
5. I should release the RIGHT to punish to God
6. I must break the bondage between the _____ and me, through anger and pain
7. I will find emotional freedom as I let go of the illusion of control

5) Own-up to my own mistakes in this matter

I recognize that I may have contributed to this situation, by:

List your actions here

• -----
• -----
• -----
• -----
• -----

6) Actions I must take

• Release _____ to God
• I will not attempt to punish _____ for what the actions done to me, I release this right to God.
• I will not make any attempt to fix _____, that God’s job.
• I have no expectation of an apology, nor am I seeking one, this is a purely unilateral act.
• I have no expectation of recognition of wrongs, on the contrary, _____ will continue in these actions and behaviours.

Should I confront the injuring party?

• My forgiveness is unconditional
• The person may or many not recognize what he/she did was wrong
• Jesus never confronted those who crucified Him, nor did Stephen!

I will repeat these steps

I recognize that forgiveness is a process, it takes time, so I will repeat these actions, and every time, I will make progress until:

• I no longer have no grudge or no malice toward _____
• I will no longer have the right to be angry about what happened, as I continue to feel some pain about this, I will move on
• I will recall the circumstances, without anger or pain
• I will be able to pray for _____ and ask for God's blessings

7) Freedom

• Thank you Lord for the freedom that I have gained through this process
• Thank you Lord for the gift of Forgiveness that you have placed in me